Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Watch Out for Neon Drivers

This afternoon I had to run an errand at lunchtime that involved the use of my car. Now I normally don't drive during the weekday, especially at lunchtime, merely for the reason that a gazillion people are all trying to cram as much as possible in an hour and are generally rude and inconsiderate on the road while doing so. So it was with a certain dread that I got into my car and headed across town to the busiest and most McDona-Wenda-Old Navy-Best Buy'ed part of town, the Reserve Street corridor. This is a section of town where all the new development is taking place, where Reserve Street serves as a connector between US Interstate 90 and US Highway 93 and where all the box stores are located. I was heading to the Eye of the Beholder, a custom framing and art shop located in a strip mall next to a mini Pizza Hut. The Pizza Hut was packed with painters, construction workers, truck drivers and a few office folk looking like ducks out of water...all enjoying the $5.99 all you could eat buffet.

I picked up my framed print and started to head back towards the relative safety zone of the 'northside", all the while thinking to myself, "this wasn't as bad as I thought". And then I spotted the Neon. For those of you living outside the USA, the Neon is a sort of poor man's sports car. It's a Dodge model and it is usually driven by 18-25 year olds with a need for speed, a total disregard for others on the road and little to no knowledge of road rules. Many Neon's are tricked out or crumpled and their outer bodies are pretty cheap. This afternoon, my nemesis was in a Kelly Green version with hot pink pin striping. I saw him, about a 1/2 block in front of me in the same parking lot. I hate parking lots anyway, but put a Neon in the same parking lot near me and my palms start to sweat. Sure enough, this idiot had his seat reclined so that you could barely see his head above the steering wheel. He had flashy spoked rims too, which caused me to take my foot off the accelerator and move it to the "hover" position atop my brake pedal. I was in a lane between two parking areas and was heading towards the lot exit, with cars in front and behind. As I neared he of course gunned it, turning left in front of me and cutting off the car coming from the opposite direction. The car driver slammed his brakes, causing the car behind to do the same and the car behind it to hit him. Meanwhile, the little shit in the Neon did the same as he turned onto Reserve Street and sped away.

Dodge Neon's and Honda Civics. I think there ought to be some extra IQ or driving tests or something to weed out all the punks, pricks and idiots who are somehow all driving these vehicles.

That's my salty bitch for the day.
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